Friday, March 25, 2005

Sorority Sisters Worry About Increasing Visibility Of Overweight Member

Three very thin and attractive members of a sorority were drinking tea last night and discussing what might be done about the fact that their house's only really overweight member had recently been elected Vice President of the university's student government. Apparently the girl had been admitted to the house as a legacy (the child of a former member) over strong objections due to the fact that her appearance was anything but representative of the house's image. This transgression had been tolerated for the last year because her grades did raise the house's average GPA and she had remained relatively out of sight. However, her recent election to Vice President raised the unpleasant prospect of her becoming the very public, and overweight, face of the sorority. One of the girls felt that this was really unfair and precisely the reason that she should never have been admitted in the first place. She said that the other girls, like themselves, busted their asses to stay in shape and eat right in an effort to maintain the image that the house wanted to project to the public and now this fat ass who didn't even pretend to workout was going to ruin that.
One of the girls offered that at least she was going to be increasing awareness of the house, associating them with a position of power on campus. As Vice President, the girl was likely to have her name in the paper from time to time.
Her name is fine, said the most indignant girl, as long as they don't put her picture.

4 comments:

Gone Away said...

Mr Kyle's blog is the only one that I've discovered that leaves me speechless time after time. With this little snippet, he has suceeded again...

Jodie said...

I don't know what to say either except that I am very, very glad I don't have to associate with either of those women.

Ned said...

Time and gravity have a way of evening things out a bit. It may be someday, that the fat in their heads find a new home on their hips. :D

Frank said...

Yeah, legacies are so wrong!

How are your abs doing, Mr. Kyle?