Monday, August 01, 2005

Woman Unable To Watch Boyfriend Eat

A woman in a coffee shop yesterday was responding to questions about the state of her relationship with her boyfriend. She said that things were going wonderfully and that they had even discussed the prospect of getting engaged. Her friends were overjoyed. The woman said that there was one small problem - she could not watch her boyfriend eat. She said that she couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly, but that the process somehow disgusted her. It might have been that he took bites that were too large, or had a habit or getting mayonnaise or lettuce stuck on his lip, or something about how he used his tongue in the process of chewing. Whatever it was, it made her ill. On several occasions she's been unable to continue a meal, feeling overcome by nausea at the site of him chowing down. Recently when they went out, she'd begun to insist that they get booths and both sit on the same side. He thought this was because she wanted to be close, but in reality it was so she could eat without having to watch him do so.
Her friends asked if she'd mentioned the problem to him. She said she'd tried to in subtle ways, but to no avail. She said he was incredibly sweet and kind and that she did in fact love him. She just wasn't sure she could picture spending the rest of her life shielding herself from the site of him shoveling food in his mouth.
You know how at weddings the bride and groom shove cake in each other's face and it gets everywhere, she asked. How long do you think they'd last if the groom ate like that everyday?

3 comments:

Ned said...

Well the cake thing has become a barbaric custom.
But more important is the fact that annoying habits don't tend to become less annoying as time goes on, rather they become more annoying. It could be that already the bloom of romance is far gone that she even notices such things. Or, she may just be an anal rententive perfectionist. If she thinks it's bad now, just wait till he stops putting on his best manners in front of her.

Gone Away said...

I've always thought that eating in public is a disgusting habit anyway... :D

Jeff said...

Well, my wife can't bear to watch me eat tomatoes, or have eggs with catsup on them. I've had to eat in another room at times. But mostly, we're OK.