Monday, August 08, 2005

Boyfriend Considers Braces As Birthday Present

A man in a restaurant yesterday explained that his girlfriend's birthday was coming up and said that he had been considering giving her braces as a gift. He said that he really liked straight teeth and while hers were by no means terrible, they could certainly stand a little straightening. And he felt that because she was an actress, it might be really helpful for her overall.
His friend said that this sounded like potentially the worst idea for a birthday present he'd ever heard. He wondered why the guy didn't just get her liposuction or sign her up for some exercise classes. The man said it wasn't like that. He thought she had an attractive smile, he just thought it could be better. His friend warned him that any gift of that sort would make the girl incredibly self conscious and leave her unable to stop thinking about how much he must hate her teeth. He said that if it didn't ruin their relationship, it would at least ruin her birthday.
The man said he must not be explaining it right. It was supposed to sound thoughtful and generous.
The friend said that if the man was intent on going ahead with it, the least he could do was get the exchange on tape.
That way, he said, when you ask me why she's gone I'll always have something to show you.

2 comments:

Ned said...

Men never do seem to understand - it's what you don't do as much as what you do - what you don't say as much as what you say- and it's also what the thing he does is saying to her. It's very easy for a man to convince himself that the worst possible thing is exactly the right thing.

Gone Away said...

Men are logical, that's all. The guy sees that her teeth are a bit crooked and reasons that he could do her and her career a big favor by buying her braces. His heart is in it, he wishes her only the best.

The trouble is that it's at that point the logic stops...