Thursday, February 24, 2005

Man Fears Housemate Has Him Under Hypnotic Spell

A man told a group of friends that he was conferring with a lawyer to see about having his housemate evicted on the grounds that he feared the housemate was manipulating him through the use of hypnosis. Apparently the housemate was a part time hypnotist who performed at parties and conferences and had demonstrated his skills at a party the man had hosted a little over a month ago. During the party the man had submitted to being hypnotized and his friends recalled that he had in fact done a number of hilarious things while in his housemate's control. The man said that he too had thought it was all in fun, but that he had recently discovered that he no longer enjoyed the taste of Oreos, which had been his favorite cookie for many years. In fact he said he now found them downright foul. At first, he said he felt he might have gotten a bad batch, but he claimed to have subsequently purchased several packages all with the same result. He said that upon further reflection he had suddenly remembered the housemate complaining about the way the Oreos left dark crumbs everywhere and he now suspected that while he'd been hypnotized the housemate had programmed him to dislike Oreos. He said the housemate denied this.
His friends told him in no uncertain terms that they felt this was ridiculous. Several of them stated that hypnotism did not work that way, that people could not be programmed to do things they truly did not want to do, that surely he would remember having been told not to like Oreos, and that even if the housemate had planted a suggestion in his head weeks ago it certainly would have worn off by now.
The man stated that they did not understand just how awful Oreos now tasted, a reaction that could ONLY be explained by hypnotism, and he countered that he remembered nothing about what he had done while under his housemate's control so he could easily have programmed him to dislike Oreos. The man said he had an appointment with a doctor who he hoped would be able to undo the damage.
One of his friends agreed that he should certainly see a doctor, but suggested the man inquire about his paranoia rather than his taste buds.
Paranoia, the man countered, has nothing to do with Oreos.

4 comments:

Gone Away said...

Wonderful, wonderful story. One feels for the poor Oreo-deprived man and wonders whether he could bring the Oreo manufacturers in to sue the dastardly hypnotist. What's that? Yes, of COURSE I believe the man was hypnotised into hating Oreos...

Harvey Young said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Harvey Young said...

Actually, if this works perhaps the housemate could spend a day or two at my house. My sons eat roughly twenty Oreos every day. It does not matter that we limit the number they are supposed to have. It is almost like a cigarette habit. I just hope that he has no skills with chocolate chip cookies. That would be the death of me.

Harry said...

Now I realize why I don't care for Double Stuff Oreos, and should go right away to confront my tricky teen.