Thursday, January 06, 2005

Million Dollar Update One

Well let's be honest, there are some good ways to make a million dollars. The best is to invest something like ten million dollars and then collect the interest. Short of that you should really be looking into something financial, and short of that you should have a brilliant idea, start a company and then pray for an IPO.

I'm not going to be doing any of those things. I'm going to be traveling the hardest road ever laid to a million dollars. I'll be writing. Here's what you need to know for context. I'm a writer of exactly enough note to justify making it my only job, which means I have all the time in the world to sit here writing ridiculous blog entries. Last year, between an article for Salon and a short story publication, I earned 453 dollars from writing. So this year I'm need to do that 2000 times and I'll get to my goal. Well, almost.

Here are the things on my slate whose sale will have to create my million. There's still a couple screenplays from last year that are out with producers, and all they have to do is convince a studio or two to jump on board and we'll be well on on way. I'm working on a novel. It's about 30 pages long, and all of those pages are terrible, but give it time. Selling a novel probably won't even get me into the six figure range, but I might be able to convince them to put a picture of my new abs on the book jacket.

Beyond those things I've only got two contingency plans. The first is to get a part time job. I'm considering my local bookstore, coffee house, or supermarket. The other is this site. My understanding is that I earn a fraction of a cent each time people click on the ads at the top, so if I get like a trillion clicks I get a dollar.

Looking at the above you may be inclined to believe that my only real hope is to get a slick new computer and start learning everything I can about counterfeiting and fraud. And you may be right. But I've picked my path and I'm sticking to it. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

Friar Cook said...

A ski mask, something that looks like a gun, and a car hidden around back. That is much quicker way than your current plan. Of course you'll have to tell the teller to forget about the dye pack. And move around alot. That's how everybody gets caught. They stay in the same place. Abs? I heard meth can help.