Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Attempts To Impress Phrenologist Girlfriend Land Man In Hospital

A man in the ER for 'constant headaches' explained that he'd been taking a hammer to his own head in an effort to save his relationship with his phrenologist girlfriend. He said that she'd been talking about a trial separation and had referenced some of what she felt were the shortcomings of his personality, things she claimed to be able to sense by simply feeling the shape of his head. His Ideality area was apparently small while his Secretivness area was too large. She claimed to have noticed a very large Destructivness spot behind his ear, and most damning, she said the spot on the top left center of his head was almost devoid of Hope.
He said that over the last few weeks he'd been using a hammer to try to change the shape of his head, mashing in the troubling areas and swelling up the underdeveloped ones, in an effort to convince her that he'd really changed. He'd been able to mostly manage the pain though Advil and unexpected moments of unconsciousness, but when she'd actually moved out a day ago, he said that he'd really laid into himself and the pain had yet to subside.
The doctor said that it appeared that he did indeed have a significant lump and that a CT would be necessary to determine whether or not the skull had been fractured. He wondered what the man could have been thinking.
That's right in the Reasoning and Planning area, he said, I was hoping she'd feel I'd gotten smarter.


Wyrfu said...

Ah well, at least he knew how to take his lumps. Just part of life's bumpy path.

Anonymous said...

If you let your relationship be judged by ridiculous criteria such as the shape of a skull, then you probsbly should just hit yourself in the head with a hammer but I find when you are in the mood to do something really stupid, just banging your head against the desk is sufficient.

I always do that just before blogging, it helps somehow if I am concussed.