Monday, February 27, 2006

Title Bout

Challenger: You
Dominant Hand: Right
Jab: Weak/Kitten Like
Record: No Victories
Vitals: Age - 30's
Weight - Less than a sedan
Allergic to Ragweed
Notable Opponents: Acne, Calculus (both matches declared a draw)
Likes: Beavers, Lasers
Dislikes: Portuguese Cars


Champion: The World
Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous
Jab: Lethal
Record: Undefeated
Vitals: Age - 4.5 billion years
Weight: 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilograms
Molten Iron Core
Notable Opponents: Dinosaurs, Parachute Pants
Likes: Beavers, Lasers
Dislikes: Comets, Greenhouse Gas


Tale of the Tape: The challenger has not fared well in these matches up to now and has shown a propensity for getting tangled up in the ropes. He says he doesn't expect to win, but would like to at least land a couple punches. The champion has a history of hitting below the belt and finishing opponents quickly. Look for him to make short work of it yet again in order to be home in time for Friends reruns. Regardless of the outcome, look for a rematch again next Monday as this seemingly endless series of battles shows no sign of slowing down.

1 comment:

Cuppojoe said...

Oh yeah? Well my home planet can beat up your home planet!