Monday, June 06, 2005

Reunion Reveals Woman's Classmates Still A Bunch Of Jerks

A woman on a cell phone explained to the party on the other end that she'd recently returned from her ten year high school reunion only to discover that her classmates were the same bunch of jerks she always remembered them being. She blamed this largely on their lack of higher education and the fact that most of them had not moved away from their hometown. She also intimated that the prevalence of country music might have something to do with it. She lamented that though the money was no issue, she hated having wasted the time and effort to fly back for such a disappointment. Everyone there failed to mention how much better she looked now than before, and when she told them how often she got compliments on her slim figure or had guys give her their numbers, her classmates, many of whom had grown fat or bald or both, seemed not to believe her. No one said a word about the dress she was wearing and when she pointed out the designer, not one person recognized the name. When she asked several people how much money they made they'd been unwilling to discuss it, and when she mentioned that she made over 200k dollars a year as a patent attorney people became so jealous they walked away avoided her the rest of the night. She said she eventually grew so tired of trying to explain her success to people who's ambitions were limited to having big trucks and satellite TV that she'd told them she had a very important business meeting the next day and that she had to leave early.
They were too jealous or embarrassed to even ask for my email address, she said.

1 comment:

Gone Away said...

Poor woman. She probably didn't notice the enormous sigh of relief everyone gave as she left...