Friday, November 11, 2005

52 Year Old Asks Son To Get Him High For Birthday

Last night in a coffee shop a man told his son that he wanted to get high for his 53rd birthday. His son, who appeared to be in his early 20's, laughed, but the man said that he was serious, that the only present he wanted from his son was his assistance in getting high. He said that he didn't know the first thing about procuring the necessary smoking equipment, pipes, bongs, etc, let alone where to find marijuana, and that while he didn't want to imply that his son was some sort of druggie, he had his suspicions that not only did his son know where to find such things, but that he had probably experimented with them.
His son asked if the man was having a midlife crisis.
The man said that he simply woke up one morning and realized that he had no idea what it was like to be high, and that this had struck him as extremely odd. He said he didn't really regret abstaining all these years or how he'd raised his kids, that he felt he was right to point out the dangers of drugs and alcohol and that he felt his kids had become responsible adults because of it. All the same, while he didn't feel his death was imminent, he said that after being around for half a century that one comes to look at time a little differently, and that it had been eating at him for some time that he'd probably missed his opportunities to enjoy this sort of experimentation. He pointed out that he could hardly ask his coworkers or neighbors for help. And then it hadoccurred to him that his birthday might provide just the right opportunity, and his son the perfect companion, for such an experience. He said he was sorry if his assumptions offended his son, and if he couldn't or wouldn't help, he said he would understand.
His son said he was simply surprised, but that certainly, if his father was serious, he could probably make arrangements. He asked if there were any other off the wall, long buried fantasies that his father wanted to act on. Dropping acid? Learning guitar? Following a band around the country?
Let me get stoned, he said, and I'll give it some thought.

2 comments:

Gone Away said...

Strangely enough, this reminds me of someone. Not me, of course. Come on, I was a freaking hippy before you were a gleam in your father's eye. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'd get that guy high. In fact, I'd like to go into the business of getting old people high.