Monday, July 24, 2006

Results of Poor Partner Selection On 100,000 Dollar Pyramid

Giving

The ocean, the universe...
Things that taste like Cinnamon?
A mountain, a jumbo jet...
Things you would say to an umpire?
The universe! A sperm whale!
Sperm? Now, I'm totally confused.
Pass.

A cloud, a baby blanket, a teddy bear...
Things you scream at.
What? No! Kittens, fresh pillows, marshmallows...
And you're sure it's not things you scream at?
Pass!

OK. Slurpees, Big Gulps, hot dogs.
Things you shouldn't put lotion on.
Dear Lord.
Ways you start letters to the editor.
No, that wasn't a clue, I'm just-
Things that aren't clues.
Pass!

Receiving

Ok. You'd find these at the place I went when I was ten.
Also at the place I went when I was eleven.
Also when I was twelve.
I have no idea.
I was ten.
Yes I heard that part.
Also eleven.
Can we pass?
It's so easy. I was ten.
Just pass.
Really?
Yes.
It was things you find at summer camp. I can't believe you didn't get that.

Allright. Here we go. Um.... Tom Cruise.
People you see in a movie theatre.
No. Tom Cruise.
Things in a blockbuster.
No, no, no. Like, think about Tom Cruise.
People who are famous. Things you find in a cult.
No. Man, I'm having trouble thinking of anything better than Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, what do you think of?
People who are handsome. People who dance in their underwear.
This is getting us nowhere. It's things with sharp teeth. You've never noticed that about his teeth? They seem really sharp. Almost like an alligator or a shark or something.

This is the one. We've got this. You don't turn these on with a switch. They're pretty poor conductors of electricity. They're not radioactive.
Things that are... made of wood?
Close. Um, they're not made of rubber. They don't hibernate. Sometimes they're on fire. Peaches. You don't turn them on with a switch.
I have no idea. I give up.
Come on. Not radioactive. Peaches.
Things... you eat.
Yeah, yeah, close. No hibernation.
Things you eat for breakfast. Things you eat for lunch. Things you eat for dinner.
No, no, no, they're NOT made of rubber.

5 comments:

Joey said...

Things that are comcastic?

Mikey McHappy said...

I think this is my favorite paper sack of all time...

Then again, the long "moving" delay has resulted in some memory loss.

Monica said...

I laughed out loud at this, and someone asked what I was laughing at, and I could not even begin to explain it except to say, "things that aren't clues," which made me laugh even more. Cheers!

Chana said...

funny, clever and thank you for making me laugh.

Jack E. Jett said...

things george bush might say just waking up in the morning

jack e. jett
www.jackejett.com