Unemployed Individual Fears That Need For Work Is Costing Him Jobs

A man told his friend over coffee that he was extremely nervous about a job interview coming up today. He said that his resume was being well received and that he'd been up for a number of jobs lately but that he'd been so excited about the prospect of ending his bout of unemployment that he feared he'd been coming off as overzealous in each interview. He was afraid that each time he was passed over this problem was only exacerbated as he became that much more focused on making sure he got the next job.
His friend told him that he simply needed to relax and be himself.
The man said that it was difficult to relax after being out of work for more than a year, and as for being himself, he said that's exactly what he was doing. He was a man in desperate need of work, and he came off as such.
In that case, the friend suggested, I'd put down the coffee and try to act employed.

Man Does Not Understand Wife's Resistance To Genetically Selecting Traits For Children

A man and his wife argued last night over his strong feelings that they should make use of in vitro fertilization and genetic screening techniques in their attempts to have a child. He said that this would first and foremost allow them to take every precaution in terms of having a healthy and complication free pregnancy. Further, he saw nothing wrong with making selections for gender, height, or any other physical attributes to the extent which such selections could be made.
His wife argued that this was unnatural an unnecessary, that selecting for a blond haired, blue eyed boy was tantamount to playing God. She said that it wasn't natural.
The man countered that nature was a cruel yardstick and not one by which he wanted to measure his family. He said that most parents would do anything and everything in their power to provide for their children's health and well being from the moment they were born on. He saw no reason that such feelings should not extend to conception. If making use of available scientific tools could provide better opportunities for his children, both in terms of physical well being and prowess, he felt that it went against his very instincts as a prospective parent not to do so. How, he wondered, was it okay to spend wildly on education, clothing, and healthcare after the child was born, but somehow wrong to select for intelligence, appearance, and viability before hand?
His wife said it was the difference between playing a hand you'd been dealt and stacking the deck.
The man said that life itself was far from fair, and if her best argument was that his plans amounted to cheating, he felt that in return for his child's welfare, that was a label he could easily live with.

Woman Angry That Friend Refuses To Discipline Children

A woman told a friend last night that she was no longer able to spend time with a mutual friend of theirs because the friend did not sufficiently discipline her child. According to the woman, the child in question was very rude to both adults and other children and tended to throw a fit whenever he did not get his way. She said that when they had last gone to dinner the child had literally screamed when he was told that he would not get desert. His parents then decided to give him desert. The woman said that though she and the mother in question had been close friends she found that she could no longer be around the mother because the lack of discipline drove her mad.
The friend said that she certainly understood the woman's point, but mentioned that the woman had children of her own and was hardly a drill sergeant when it came to discipline. She remembered how the woman's kids often had to be put to bed five or six times and how they often were allowed to simply stay up and watch a movie by simply being persistent about refusing bedtime.
Well, the woman said, that's not really the kind of discipline I was talking about. My kids aren't really bad.

Man Canceling Phone Service Due To Lack Of Friends

An elderly gentlemen who apparently frequented a coffee shop explained to the shop employee that he had decided to cancel his phone service because no one ever called him. He said that he'd long suspected that his phone was a waste and had decided to keep a log over the last two months to find out just how much he used it. He discovered that he'd made no outgoing calls and received only three incoming calls, all from telemarketers. The man said he had no family, and though there were a few people, like the coffee shop employee, that he talked to on a semi-regular basis, he never used the phone for such conversations. He said that as far as he was concerned, it was just a waste of money, and certainly something he could do without.
The employee pointed out that if nothing else, the phone would certainly prove useful in an emergency.
Nah, the old man said, when you got no one to call when you're healthy, you might as well not bother when you're sick.
The employee seemed troubled by this answer and scribbled a number on the man's coffee cup. That's my number. You can call me.
The man laughed and told the employee that he was a good kid, but there were bigger things for him to worry about than an old man with no phone.
If I stop wasting my money of coffee, he said, then you can worry.