Bluebeard Answers Your Financial Questions

Dear Bluebeard,
What do you think a good ratio of equities to bonds would be given the current market?

Looks to Bluebeard like stocks are still walking the plank. But the yield curve has me worried about bonds as well. I'd diversify into the precious metals; gold, silver, maybe look at jewels as well. Call Bluebeard old fashioned, but I still like assets I can keep in a chest. Arrrrr.

Dear Bluebeard,
Is it time to sell my shares of Google?

Me thinks Google's near to havin' a mutiny on her hands. I've been on ships where you're suddenly so flush with treasure that everyone's got an idea how to spend it. "Bluebeard, let's get out own 'pirate island'." "Bluebeard, let's all get hooks made out of gold." "Let's build a space elevator, Bluebeard." In my experience, when you've got that kind of cash, the only source of sound advice is the parrot on your shoulder. I don't see a lot of parrots at Google. Sell the scurvy dog.

Dear Bluebeard,
I'm facing an audit. I don't think I did anything wrong, but should I get representation anyway?

Never face the IRS without at least a dozen good men. How do you think Bluebeard ended up with this hook?

Dear Bluebeard,
What's you opinion on the housing market? Is this a bubble?

It's a bubble as sure as Bluebeard's the saltiest dog in the seven seas, and I'd say she's about to pop. Bluebeard says sell your overvalued heap while you can and get into something more mobile, maybe one of those swanky Airstreams like Will Smith has. Load up ten or twenty trusted hands, a couple good wenches, and hit the road. For the next few years the only money in houses is going to be made the old fashioned way. Pillaging other people's. Arrr.