Saturday, January 22, 2005

Teenager Declares Olive Garden "Fancy Restaurant"

A teenager in a coffee shop warned his friends that he is just as 'retarded' whether he's in a coffee shop or a fancy restaurant like Olive Garden. Other teens then chimed in with their own thoughts about the greatness of Olive Garden. Among the distinguishing features mentioned were: breadsticks and salad.
Discussion thereafter was short lived and scattered as the effects of caffeine began to take hold and teens began to pester their parents that it was time to go home.
Not involved in the fancy restaurant debate were apparently single mothers of two of the teens who were competing for attention/interest of a balding individual, possibly some sort of youth minister. A sentence beginning, "That's not what the scripture says...", was overheard but the actual message of the scripture was lost in the din. Mothers each told their overcaffeinated children to take a walk several times and seemed to be fighting a war of attrition to see who would give in to their teen's demands for an exit first, providing the other some alone time with the bald individual (bald but conceivably attractive). Battle ended in stalemate when mothers decided on a simultaneous exit, but not without insisting they do this again, soon.
Teen who initiated fancy restaurant discussion was heard suggesting to his mother that they eat out for dinner. Mother asked what he had in mind.
Teen suggested Taco Bell.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Red Lobster would be like where you host heads of state and celebrity weddings.

James said...

Yes, indeed...O.G. is one "fancy" restaurant! Having been a manager at an O.G. years ago, I can confirm that. In fact, the O.G. holds the distinction of being very first restaurant on the "Fancy Restaurant List" (yes, at the bottom)...thus right on the cusp of "coffee shop" and "fancy"...this is the reason why people who frequent the O.G. think it is OK to tip $1.23 on a $50 check! They can't afford the tip! They wouldn't tip any more at a coffee shop, they woyuld just order "fancier" food.